Herrings and eggs

[Follow up on posting below]. When we went to bed last night the d-mned kids had put cornflakes in the entire bed. Now I'm the stupid pickled herring with egg on my face! (I'm secretly proud of them for getting the last word in).

April first you stupid herring

I tricked my kids into eating a stew made out of yak meat and Sichuan dog meat sausage today. Actually it was a brilliant bouef bourguignon that was mouth-wateringly scrumptious that I spent all day making but they fell for it anyway, good kids that they are. I told them that this is the kind of food they are going to eat when we go off on our planned horse trek to Munigou Valley in a few weeks and that they had better start getting used to it. That didn't phase them - they're really keen on this trek - and they dug in and thought it wasn't half bad, albeit with very sceptical looks on their faces and only tiny tastes in the beginning. When I told them it was all an April Fool's joke the food went down a whole lot faster! 

As we say in Swedish: April April din dumma sill which in English translates as the ridiculous sounding: April first April first you stupid pickled herring. 

Får det vara en munk?

©Emy Booz

Jag är den första att erkänna att jag är världens sämsta på att berätta skämt så ni får ursäkta - känner bara att dagen behöver en extra dos "who cares!". Min dotter Emy (9 år) ville att jag skulle lägga upp hennes senaste alster på bloggen så jag tänkte göra två flugor på smällen samtidigt:

En nunna satt länge och fikade en dag på stans konditori. Hon såg lite ledsen ut så servitrisen kom och frågade henne om någonting mer önskades till kaffet?

...och nunnan svarade: Ja, det skulle vara en munk i så fall. 

Så här kommer en munk munk!

The Red Penis Your Friend

©Ingrid Booz Morejohn

Tomorrow I'm giving a lesson on "How to write a non-fiction book" to QSI students. Poking about the Internet today I found this hilarious piece about "The impotence of proofreading". Adults only QSI parents! 

Link for those who can't seem to open: 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OonDPGwAyfQ

Annual Shit Day

Yesterday was Shit Day. Shit, excrementa, feces, body waste, faecal matter, ordure, stool, human waste. You name it, yesterday was it. One day a year, usually before Chinese New Year, for some reason not fully understood by me, our apartment complex is cleansed of human waste that has accumulated from the 300 apartment units in some sort of underground storage system. A small troop of hardy, unfortunate souls enter the garden, open up these septic pits and proceed to empty the system by hand, filling sandbag after sandbag with oozing nightsoil. Sometimes when things get out of hand they crack up laughing. Prior to the event the guards run around the complex shouting "Close your windows! Close your windows!". The stench is overwhelming and palpable, seeping out into the surrounding neighborhood to the revulsion of all. 

Fat Lady Rocks!

When I was trying to think up an appropriate name for this blog I thought I might call it Pang Taitai. Then I could truly call myself a blobber at Blobspot, excuse me a blogger at Blogspot. But lo and behold Pang Taitai (Fat Lady) was already taken by a well-endowed Hebei woman selling her own brand of spiffy fashion apparel for curvaceous Chinese women. Her website www.pangtaitai.com leans heavily towards the pink end of the palette and her slogan is "I am beautiful, I believe in myself". She seems to have representation all over China and she models all her designs. As anyone around me knows I can be direct to the point of bluntness, so I really like Ms Fang's straight forward and honest business approach, especially in a country obsessed with slimness and youthful beauty. If you want to put in an order for a natty tennis outfit or a rabbit fur collar down jacket her email is pangtaitai@pangtaitai.com - or why not some Power Woman black suede boots with gold details? Tell her Chengdu Pangtaitai sent you.

Chinglish

©Ingrid Booz Morejohn

I'm as puerile as the next foreigner and can't resist the temptation to upload "interesting" signs I come across. Please forgive me. 

Road signs in Sikkim

The road from Badogra (via Darjeeling) and Siliguri up to Gangtok quickly becomes a hair-raising experience as most drivers seem to think that the squiggly, narrow roads with numerous hairpin turns (and heavy traffic) should be taken at highest possible speed. The local authorities thankfully seem to disagree which is evidenced by the numerous inspiring traffic safety "admonishers" posted along the route. The yellow and black signs are imbedded into the road shoulder about every half kilometer and are bold and easy to read. Although very sweet in their concern for your well-being and hopeful survival they are however in themselves slightly distracting:

 Make life last - don't drive fast

Life is short - don't make it shorter

Driving faster can cause disaster

Drive like Hell and you'll get there

Driving and drinking = A fatal cocktail

Better safe than sorry

Your safety our concern

Save roads, save lives.

Caution at night - have bright light

Avoid over confidence

Go slow friend

Drive don't fly

Live don't die

Don't mix drinking with driving

Don't fly but play

Fast drive can be your last drive

Drive skillfully and live

Anytime is safety time

Drive slow and you'll know

Safety - make it a habit

Don't be Mr Late for your Date

You're heading for disaster if you drive any faster

Be soft on your curves

Let this be an accident free day

No hurry worry, drive slow

It is not rally, enjoy the valley

And my two favorites:

Reach home in peace, not in pieces

This is highway, not runway